The Long Rant: Game of Thrones – S8 Ep3

What the hell did I just watch!? Seriously, what the HELL did I just watch!?

Game of Thrones – I’ve been with you pretty much from the very beginning, I remember when it was introduced to me back in 2012, a friend of mine at work knew that I was into the epic fantasy genre, he even asked me a few questions about my own work and assumed I was watching Game of Thrones along with the rest of Humanity, because what I was explaining to him rang some bells in his head, so when I told him I hadn’t heard of it or watched it he strongly suggested it to me, said ‘It would be something you’d really enjoy,‘ and he was right, I did enjoy it up to Season 7. I am aware that other Seasons have some faults but that is nothing in comparison to what’s to come, but we’ll get to that in a moment. So at this point back in 2012, Season 1 was over, Season 2 had just wrapped and a trailer of Season 3 was on its way out, needless to say, it didn’t take me long to get up to speed with this phenomenon written expertly well by George R.R. Martin, hailed as the next J.R.R. Tolkien of our time, and I can see why. Game of Thrones is simply brilliant, it’s a masterpiece of fantasy storytelling, a stroke of literary genius that has taken decades to envision, write and finally bring to life on the small screen. Every character is well explored, well written, fleshed out and likable, even the antagonists like Ramsey Bolton and King Joffrey have a lure to them, as twisted and as fucked up as they are you love to hate them and you love even more to see the protagonists finally beat the living shit out of them or watch them die because if you know Game of Thrones, then you know that you rarely get what you want, as Tyrion Lannister points out “If you want justice you’ve come to the wrong place.” You have a great variety of said characters from half a dozen houses linked to a number of different cultures modeled and exaggerated upon from our own histories. The choice of actors to play such charismatic characters was spot on and you can tell from the very beginning that the creators who are also lovers of the books, poured their hearts and souls into this project, from the details found in the sets to the emotional and impactful weight of the music, the very real effects and the world-building it is truly well imagined, captured and brought to life spectacularly, no one can fault it there. The work certainly has paid off, it has kept me and millions of others hooked for several years and thirsty for more. I loved the honourable Ned Stark played by Sean Bean in Season 1, everyone thought he would be the main protagonist until he had his head chopped off in a cruel twist of fate thanks to Joffrey. Tyrion Lannister played by Peter Dinklage is able to just glue you to the screen and at certain times makes you burst out laughing leaving you grinning with utter delight. Jon Sno’s origin is clouded in mystery making him extremely compelling, the battles he is involved in like Battle of the Bastards and The Battle of Hardhome made me shake with anticipation while watching them, they are so good they’ve left me sweating and lost for words. Daenerys’s rise to power is incredible, riddled with victories, failures and struggles, the way in which she grows from a frightened, oppressed girl into a leader of men (with a somewhat endless string of titles tied to her name) to a dragon rider is simply mesmerising, especially now, now that we have come to the final Season and can look back in awe, she’s gone up against slave masters, warlocks, barbarians, brutes and family only to triumph time and time again, she is an absolute joy to watch. I love Emilia Clarke. There are so many characters I love and love to hate, so many scenes and scenarios, tragedies, jokes and memorable moments to write about I’d quite literally be here forever talking about them, this IS what happens when you make something with passion and I want more of it or franchises like this with as much care and passion devoted to them. Game of Thrones has become an event, it has become a household name, an easy conversation starter at work or among people you barely even know, I doubt there is a single household in the Western world who hasn’t had Game of Thrones on or hasn’t been a topic of conversation at some point, it really is that big of a deal and that popular. I am NOT here, however, to write about how good Game of Thrones is, I think you can believe me when I say that I am a very big fan of this franchise, I am looking forward to the final episode, looking forward to seeing those final credits roll and finally knowing how this all ends, if I were to guess it’s probably going to end with the rightful man or woman sitting in the iron throne, the doors will close and that will be that. I admire what HBO has done with the source material, which from what I’ve heard is very rich and delicately complex, at least from Seasons 1-6 I can admire HBO’s handling of George’s vision, despite a lot of content has been left out due to its size but the books are big and the lore/history is plentiful, so this is understandable. True HBO gets it wrong sometimes but overwhelmingly I feel like they’ve done a grand job, excusing Season 7 and this third Episode of Season 8, the previous two eps were up to standard but this one did not only fumble and drop the ball, but the ball failed to be thrown. So why did I start this article with such an outburst? Before I explain why let me just give you a short disclaimer on my position – I’ve not read the books, I’ve only dabbled in them and held discussions with a few people who have delved into the literature. I’ve not watched anything after Season Four more than once nor have I spent my time scrolling through video after video on YouTube watching super nerds pick apart every scene or listened to any book critic as matter of fact review the books..No, I am coming at the TV show from a simple viewers angle, someone who loves epic fantasy, someone who has been waiting for this moment for years, someone who is writing something somewhat similar and can only hope to have my own work recognised in the same way as Game of Thrones is, one day. I love the series and have become emotionally invested with a handful of the characters, I am just a fan of the TV show, a fan who is amazed at how awful Season 8, Episode 3-The Long Night is. I am staggered in fact that this got made in the way it did, how no one pointed out the shockingly bad battle tactics utilised in this episode, the endless plot conveniences, the utterly retarded moments and horrible editing blows my mind away into a thousand pieces, pieces that then get churned up in a wood chipper. The only positive I can pull from this mess is to use it as an example, to look at it as an example of how NOT to write a battle scene. It really REALLY hurts me to tear into something I care so much about, but just like with my Captain Marvel rant, some things I cannot simply ignore or just let go, some things itch just a little bit too much and I am compelled enough to take time out of my day when I should be focusing on other more important things, like this God damn Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos-Review or my own book Rise of The Black Doves, but I have to pause such things to put into words as to why I hate this episode so much. I will be getting into spoilers so if you haven’t seen it stop reading now. I will be using foul language because I’m pissed so if you’re easily offended or do not like your opinion being challenged you’d best stay in your safe space.

Holy fucking shit I still can’t believe I’m actually about to do this, I’ll even answer a few counter-arguments I’ve heard pop up here and there along the way, there are some interesting ones, but just to be absolutely crystal clear, I’ve not yet seen episode four, I am still very much intrigued as to what happens next, I do not hate the show, I think this episode is terrible, yes, for reasons I am about to get into, some I know are valid points (actually I think most are valid) but if I’ve got any finer details wrong, confused certain things with this that or the other, if I have missed something important then I am happy to be corrected or be put straight, I am fallible after all. I am not giving up on the show, I do not think the writers and everyone else  involved are bad or talentless, indeed they are very talented and I appreciate all the hard work they’ve done, from the actors, the directors, the technical teams to the one who fetches them their coffees, I thank you for all what you have done to bring me such a spectacle, but even talented folks can drop the ball from time to time and assholes like me make the time to point out such things so other people can avoid making such errors again. Simply writing this article has even made me realise a few mistakes in my own work which I have gone back and ironed out, if I hadn’t of started writing then those mistakes would probably linger on and on and cause upset in the writing process later on down the line. Even though I am about to get very angry, I’ll apologise in advance, but please try to understand that I am only getting angry because I’ve invested a lot of my time into this show and was looking forward to this moment, I was in my early twenties for God’s sake when I learned this was coming, I love the characters and have followed the actors and actresses all the way, what an opportunity and exciting time it must’ve been. Game of Thrones has been a huge inspiration for my own work, I respect George R.R. Martin and I’d love to meet him one day. For the most part, I think the two main writers of the show, David Benioff and D.B Weiss have done a terrific job, some people out there would disagree, but to take on such a project, to take on and present a wealthy vision that isn’t even your own, to dedicate a decade perhaps even more time to writing this thing, it takes a lot of work and a strong backbone to handle all that pressure, so in this regard they have my thanks and respect. I take issue with this episode, I do, I’ll come out and say it now I REALLY did not like this episode, and here is why. Grab yourselves a drink guys and let’s get through this, shall we? You are in for my biggest rant yet. Enjoy.

What in the actual fuck happened in this episode!? The first thing I noticed that made my brain fart was seeing that the living have placed their Dothraki cavalry on the front line! This is an army of thousands of horsemen who are fighting at an instant disadvantage due to the freezing temperatures, new terrain, they have no pikes, lances, spears or longbows of any kind from what I could see (and I could barely see anything because it was so fucking frustratingly dark), instead the vast majority of them have their traditional hook-like swords, the same swords that they have used from Season 1. Note that they have no armour, they are being led by Jorah Mormont and are surprised when Melisandre shows up from the enemies position, they are light cavalry fighting far from home, they do not have the home-field advantage, far fucking from it. They are then sent into the darkness immediately after the red woman lights up their crap swords. We know that a Dothraki charge is devastating but moving them against the undead army in this way knowing that they are vastly outnumbered is idiotic, especially after claiming that you are waiting for the Night King, if you are waiting for him why did you sound the charge, you morons? This is the first move that takes place, the first move and already I am rolling my eyes, it’s like the strategy of this battle was designed by a pilchard and we are literally moments in. This is retarded for so many reasons, it gives me a headache so I’ll do my best to break this down piece at a time, here it goes. A cavalry has the advantage to move quickly, it has the ability to charge into units of foot soldiers and decimate them easily and effectively, we have seen this happen throughout our own history and in prior GoT seasons, but right off the bat this battle is taking place at night time, no one can SEE the enemy in front of them, they just ride off miles away from Winterfell, away from any kind of support and into the pitch-black; Why the fuck is the field not lit up? You have two fucking dragons for fuck sake that breath limitless fire, fire that can instantly kill your opponents, you have thousands of men at your disposal and you had the time to prepare for this battle, you knew they were coming, even in Battle of the Bastards the field was lit up and that took place in the afternoon in broad daylight. The dead may all be equipped with long pikes which can eradicate charges by simply getting together and holding them up high, maybe you should have watched Braveheart guys. The dead may have had their giants out in the front of them or something far worse could have been out there, this is after all the army of the dead! This is nothing you have encountered before so maybe it is best to be cautious and not think you can defeat them or bate them (somehow) with a cavalry charge. They may be ready with undead bowmen for all we know holy SHIT! The point is you DO NOT send your cavalry who are heavily disadvantaged in…FIRST! You can easily split them, you can divide them up and put them to good use AFTER the dead have engaged with your walls or ground troops, you can use them to flank and support your foot soldiers when needed because they have that wonderful ability to move fast…Fuck me…So the Dothraki ride into the abyss and they all get slaughtered as EVERYONE watching this with more than three functioning brain cells would be able to figure out ahead of time, but furthermore, Melisandre shows up, at random, we weren’t expecting her, I thought she was in Valantis, so I am lead to assume that Jon, Daenerys, Sansa and the rest of the idiots in charge were to just let their Dothraki loose into the darkness, ill-equipped against a force that dwarfs them many times over; How do I know this? Because if you saw the episode before you can clearly see the white bricks/figurines on the map surpass their army as a whole AND that of the city of Winterfell, and they STILL send them in knowing this AND THEN it gets EVEN better, the Unsullied decide to light up and fire the trebuchets…What the fuck are you doing!?...You just sent your Dothraki riders into a black hell and now you want to risk hitting them with fiery boulders because..Because..It..looks..cool, I guess? Really!? What an absolutely laughably bad move this is, no one can defend it and I cannot believe that as I am watching this I am slowly facepalming, rolling my eyes thinking this is just the opening. For the love of God, use your trebuchets first, or fill the skies with fire arrows, whatever is out there it is always best to soften them up BEFORE charging in, I thought we were passed this? Before I go on, just out of curiosity, I may be wrong on this but to my understanding, dragon glass kills Wights and White Walkers pretty easily, fire is also very effective, we’ve seen examples in prior episodes. White Walker weaponry also shatters other weapons NOT made out of valerian steel or weapons forged with dragon fire right? So the Dothraki, up to this point were prepared to ride out completely defenseless, without dragon glass, without valerian steal, without fire! In the Battle of Hardhome, we see arrows pierce the skulls of Wights but they aren’t affected and continue their rampage so I will assume that normal swords are just as useless. I am unclear on the rules as you can tell and I am very confused when I saw Ghost running in, don’t get me wrong we all love Ghost but unless they tip his teeth in dragon glass or give him valerian steel fillings I cannot see how effective he will be other than bumping into his enemies. I feel like I am right on this one, if not then okay, I’ll accept being wrong, but if I’m right then fuck you show! Consistency matters! I want that on a tee-shirt, ‘Consistency matters.’

Next up and we run into another problem that coincides with Winterfell’s overall defense if you really want to call it that; Why are your trebuchets out in front of the Unsullied? Why are they even there in the first place!? They should be at the back or INSIDE the city at best, they should be safely BEHIND the walls perhaps even on the walls themselves if there is room, that is where any thinking person who isn’t a fish would put them, in a place where they can fire over and over and over again without interruption. I know they weren’t initially on the front line, the Dothraki saw to that but now they are fighting for the dead, the Unsullied should have moved ahead of their position to defend them, this is your artillery, these weapons will help you win this fight, they can scatter units and if you’re lucky they may hit giants or a huge blue dragon, unlikely I know but any General (GREY WORM!) commanding this shit show would instantly move his forces forward to secure their safety, but they don’t and they are fired all but twice maybe three times in this battle! Why are you not firing them relentlessly!? We don’t even see if they hit anything anyway because as I said before it is too fucking dark to see anything, and before some asshole points out to me that it is meant to be dark because it is taking place in the night, let me just say that I am fully aware of this you dickmuncher, don’t insult my intelligence with this lame argument, you are probably going to use the ‘It’s just a fantasy‘ argument next where if I were in your company I’d slap you, and if that doesn’t get some sense into you then a punch would surely do it. Helms Deep took place in the dead of night amidst a heavy rainstorm, and never was I ever squinting or turning up the brightness of my TV trying to see who was doing what? Who was who? Who was going where and forever asking myself the question ‘Did he just die?’ or ‘Did she just die?’ Anyway whatever, the lighting, for the most part in this episode is awful, screw it! So the Unsullied engage and lose their artillery which now can be turned around and used on those in Winterfell, that does not happen because the dead are as retarded as the living in this episode, but I will get to that later on. The living army is now battling waves, literal waves of skeletons, like the waves you see on the beach but they are made up of bodies which would never fucking work and just makes me laugh when I think about the dead practicing this maneuver when no one is around and awkwardly failing only to get up and do it again. Maybe in a book, this works as a great description of hordes of the undead flooding in around our living soldiers but put into practice and it just falls flat and WOULD fall flat because of ya know, gravity..What the hell is happening in this horror show?..In any case, who can survive a tidal wave of zombies? How can you fight this and hope to live? The answer is simple, you can’t and you have to retreat, Jamie Lannister, Ed, Brienne of Tarth, Tormund, Grey Worm and so on, you guys are fucked. If this was GoT as we know it you’d ALL be dead, because you were the first to engage this horde, you’re all dead, but you are not really because you are so tooled up with plot armour you are immune to death, no matter how many skeletons are on you at once, no matter how many times you get outflanked, surrounded and swamped by dozens if not hundreds of enemies you are all going to be okay because the moment someone else shows up regardless of how many dead are seemingly hugging you to death, you’ll be saved, or if you find yourselves alone you can depend on the heroic acts of the editor who continually teases the heroes fates only to cut away, to later come back minutes later to a different scenario entirely having changed what we saw last, off-screen. This editing method is used throughout and becomes so annoying that you do wonder what on earth was going on behind the scenes? You cannot keep doing this! You cannot keep tricking the viewers this way and do nothing with it, it’s extremely frustrating and becomes terribly predictable, removing the tension hence losing respect for the Wights. There is even a moment when Brienne was taken down by a mob of dead soldiers, Jamie hurries over to her aid because they have a weird thing between them, he kills one and they’re suddenly all gone, hurray! Don’t believe me? Then watch it again, this happens with other characters multiple times, it also happened in Season 7 when Jon’s group was surrounded by Wights on that lake, I thought we were clear of this and the writers had learned their lesson from the backlash but nope, fucking pilchards! Back to The Long Night – This retreat was inevitable, however, anyone going into this episode thinking the good guys would not retreat is divorced from both reality and fantasy alike and should be thrown out of a plane into shark-infested waters, natural selection has failed if you thought the battle would NOT take place INSIDE the Stark city, honestly it ALL should have taken place inside, I still wonder why there are any men outside the city, you have a castle behind you, fucking use it, maybe the Dothraki could have been left outside and signaled in to take care of the first few waves, using the flanks and swift movement to their advantage, but all I can think of as to why the writers wanted men outside the gates was because of the visuals. The Unsullied cover the retreat and then the dragons show up..Oh, that’s nice of them..I bet the Dothraki could have used dragon support when riding into Satans asshole but okay whatever, Danny’s emotions got the better of her when she saw them all getting slaughtered and broke the plan. I guess the writers needed to get them out of the way because it is something less to deal with later on and easier to write something horrible than something that required thought and creativity, fine, whatever, at this point in the episode I’m just curious as to how stupid it can get and believe me when I say, I was not disappointed in this regard…Who needs a massive drink? I need a refill.

Right then where were we? Oh yeah, the retreat that was destined to happen due to the ineptitude of the living is handled by Grey Worm, the Unsullied commander who seals the trench made of sticks that does not even circle the city, (I’ll get to that) and dooms all of his men…Wait what? Pause… Let me get this straight, the Dothraki die needlessly when you sent them out for the slaughter, you even almost kill them with your own trebuchet fire in the process, then, knowing full well that you are hundreds of times outnumbered, more so now that the Dothraki have fallen and joined the White Walkers, you persist to remain on the front line standing your ground, which is screeched by Brienne which is seriously fucking funny, only to retreat moments later, and in the process you doom the best fighting force you have in Westeros to save those who just lost a deciding battle, so they can continue to fight inside Winterfell…Do I need to pick that apart or can I trust you to do this one for me? I’ll let you think about that one because I have a lot to get through and I do want to sleep tonight, the battle plan is just all over the place. This episode is so fucking retarded I cannot keep up, I bet when I’ve finished writing this thing when I finally get a chance to breathe and enjoy playing Titanfall for an hour or two with tea, I’ll suddenly remember a bunch of other things I missed and kick myself because of it. Okay so bearing in mind I’ve only watched this piece of shit once, I am pretty sure that this trench does not ring the whole city, in which case the dead can just walk around it and laugh, just like the Germans did while going through the Arden Forest on the borders of France, not only that but we have a hilarious scene when people on the walls are trying to ignite the trench made of sticks with fire arrows, but are failing to do so because of the cold, or the living forgot to soak the wood in oil, I am willing to believe the latter judging from what I’ve seen so far. Men on the ground are as confused as we are, the shaky cam was used because of reasons and the dead are flinging out of nowhere preventing the trench’s ignition. Look, if your wood was soaked with oil we would not have this problem, it should be relatively easy to set ablaze, oil should be abundant when defending a medieval castle, if Kings Landing has shit like wildfire I’m sure Winterfell has oil, they use it in their lamps don’t they!? But we see arrow after arrow hit the trench but they fail to ignite it, even IF the arrows stayed alight, even if that battle took place on a summers day with dry wood and loads of kindling, a few fire arrows is not going to light up a trench of that size quickly..Bloody hell..Even IF you threw a healthy torch into the wood without oil it would take ages, hours even to catch light if at all because of the blizzard HOLY FUCKING SHIT I forgot to elaborate on the blizzard! So a blizzard was sent in during Danny and Jon’s fly by’s after the foot soldiers engage with the tidal wave of Wights. The two dragons Drogon and Rhaegar show up to do what dragons do best, they burn up hundreds of Wights with each pass, this is your best means of defense in this fight, these dragons can obliterate hundreds of zombies in seconds, they are incredible, and this is exactly what they do, however, a White Walker blizzard roles in ceasing this action, it happens when Jon decides to go full stupid and engage with the White Walkers on the backline; Has he forgotten that they are able to throw ice spears with extreme precision? Maybe some dragon armour would be handy? I’m sure with the best minds in Westeros and hundreds of men to play with including Gendry, you could fashion some protection, but no, none of that because that idea makes sense, they must have forgotten. Perhaps it would have been better if you let the dead army march on Winterfell and then flank the White Walkers with your dragons right at the start, Jon knows this, he saw them do it at Hardhome, White Walkers stay behind as the battle takes place and move in slowly later, we also know that if you kill one White Walker commander you kill a shit load of Wights, this should be a priority, we were witness to this in Season 7, but these stupid pills are seriously strong. Moving on so Jon goes after the White Walker line regardless, Jon was there when Viserion was killed by a spear so any logical person would keep their distance, for now at least and focus on decimating the hundreds of thousands of Wights washing over his men, men he should be with on the ground. Jon is incredible on the ground with a sword, he owned Battle of the Bastards, does he really need to be flying? Maybe Bran can warg into Rhaegar? Maybe Jon if he really wants to play dragon should just sit back and watch over Bran when on Rhaegar and let Danny rip through the undead lines on Drogon, this would allow Theon Greyjoy and his awesome archers to go onto the walls instead of just sitting there in the Godswood waiting to be attacked, but alright GoT, let’s do it your way. So yes, just to repeat, Jon is flying down to encounter White Walker commanders, then it is revealed that the dead took the same stupid pill long before Jon did and choose to unleash their snowstorm, which begs the question; Why in the name of Zeus’s left testicle did you not open with this move!? You have the ability to change the weather and it is NOW you decide to do this, the level of retard just went into the red, the little needle on the gauge is going so fucking crazy it is about to shatter. At the Battle of Hardhome we saw this, the White Walkers unleashed a storm which ate the landscape and covered hundreds of wildmen trapped there, this would have made it easier for the writers of the show to construct the unfolding of the battle. We also saw this blizzard move demonstrated in Season 2, right before the Night Watch hear the third horn sound in the distance and bug out of there as fast as humanly possible. We have this tale told to us when we are chilling with Bran and the old women, I think it is in Season 1 or it could be 2, I am unsure, but she describes this terrifying story of The Long Night, the endless night where blizzards swallow castles whole, where Kings and Queens froze to death within their walls, their fires unable to help them. She talks of monstrous spiders, giants, ancient horrors commanded by the nightmarish White Walkers, this sounded freaking incredible, and back when I heard all of this for the first time I knew that one day winter would come, it was dripping in atmosphere and spectacle, this was WHY WE FUCKING WATCHED THIS SHOW! It was never really about the iron throne it was about the deciding battle between the living and the dead. Fast forward six or so years and we are here, this is it, this is the moment we have all been waiting for and we are treated with a dark screen and idiot decisions made from both the living AND the dead! Honestly, this episode leaves me wondering which side is more foolish, maybe I’ll have an answer by the end. Is there more to the White Walker army which I’ve been led to believe? I guess not, I guess it boils down to Wights, White Walkers, and giants, speaking of which, where were all the fucking giants!? We saw one, yeah sure, but is that it? In Season 2 we see more than one on the way, at the Battle at the Wall we see they have dozens, one is even riding on a mammoth for fuck sake, tell you what a herd of dead mammoths could come in handy, they could pull their siege weaponry or could wreck cavalry charge with ease but NOPE, we saw a giant who gets killed by a little girl, yeah that actually fucking happens the moment Winterfell’s gates are breached and Lyanna Mormont charges one right after it has killed units of men with each swing of its fists and the stamping of its feet and charges it, no I am not making this up, this actually happened, a twelve-year-old girl charges an undead giant, it knocks her aside only to pick her up later to have a better look at the squirt and takes its sweet time crushing her, but before she dies she is able to stab it in the eye because..Girl power? Maybe I’m wrong but we’ve already seen so many franchises going down the toilet after going woke, franchises like Dr.Who with its constant man-bashing or Star Wars creating the ultimate Mary Sue which turns even the most hardcore fans off the most successful franchise of all time. GoT I thought was immune to this because George R.R. Martin is not insane or writes with a political agenda in mind, he creates great female characters without trampling on men in the process. There was a moment when I thought the giant would eat Lyanna, that would have been really dark and cool, we’ve seen some pretty horrendous shit happen before in GoT but no, not in this episode where crazy shit SHOULD happen, instead she kills it with a quick thrust, it falls over an dies and that is the last we see of the giants, this isn’t underwhelming at all. It’s just a silly scene and I don’t understand why it was written in that way, but I bet it had something to do with the girl power message that has to be in every movie, TV, and advert nowadays, because if you do not meet that girl power quota you’ll be accused of being a sexist or a misogynist. Not that you even need any strong female character moments at this point in the show, we’ve already had plenty of good ones in GoT, before Season 7, Daenerys is freaking incredible! Cersei is absolutely merciless and fierce, Arya has a fascinating journey it’s one of my favourites. I loved Catelyn Starks story and was fucking stunned to how it ended, she was written so well in fact that she reminded me of my own mother, this show was that good! We’ve had some not so great ones too, like the wraith, not a big fan of Missandei either, all she did was repeat Daenerys name and chat to her about boys, and the Sand Snakes were…Well, when they all died I was kinda happy about it, they did suck, the whole Dorne plot sucked as a whole and I want it to go away. The point I am trying to make is that in pretty much every form of mainstream entertainment in circulation has to come with a strong female character or girl power message, this game of identity politics is infecting almost every successful established or pre-established franchise and butchering them beyond belief. Don’t make me talk further about Dr.Who, Ghostbusters 2016, Star Trek Discovery or Star Wars, please don’t, and it is not looking good for Terminator: Dark Fate and Batwoman either. Don’t get me wrong, I get it, we live in an age where communism uhh I mean SJW, intersectional feminism is rampant and unless you bend the knee and join the Borg so to speak, you are at risk of losing your job and reputation at the hands of this backward, extreme feminist tribe, this man-hating cult of utterly deluded self-important cry babies will come for you if you do not fall in line and obey! All that aside, children DO NOT BELONG ON THE BATTLEFIELD, little girls are not supposed to be there! In LOTR you do see little boys tossing rocks off the edge of Helms Deep, this works because anyone can toss a rock off a castle, and in history young lads are used in seriously desperate situations, so I can buy it, but having a child charge a giant and win, is stupid, a child would shit themselves and runoff as most adults would unless you’re Jon Sno. LOTR is not guilt-free of this cheese either, in Return of the King you have this great scene between Eomer, Gambling, and Eowyn, Eowyn is saying that everyone should be able to fight for those they love, which I can get behind, and then she is put in her place by her brother who has seen combat first-hand many times and he gives her a dose of reality. This scene is great, it grounds the audience, yes they are watching a fantasy but fantasy too can be horrific, it gives us or gave me a notion of seriousness, that Middle Earth will need ALL it’s capable fighters to even have a hope of winning, even Gandalf laughs at Pippins recruitment into the service of the Steward, because honestly, what can a Hobbit do against a full-grown, battle-hardened Mordor Ork? These creatures are vicious, they are lethal, they eat people mercilessly, man woman and child they don’t care! To my mind, a Hobbit standing off against an Ork can do absolutely nothing! This is not to say Eowyn could not cause damage, she has after all received training, has grown up with fighters all her life and her own brother is a freaking badass, so when she takes down a few fleeing Orks I can buy into it, it makes sense but when the Hobbits start doing it too time and time over, I roll my eyes because it just wouldn’t happen, especially after what Eomer says and Gandalf expresses. So this is not solely on GoT, I’ve seen this elsewhere and I want it to stop. To put this in another way, remember when you were a child, remember when you were in your early teens, feeling in that moment you were invincible, full of the confidence of youth, full of energy, brave faced and so young, now imagine yourself getting into the ring with someone twice your age, twice if not three times your size and weight, going toe to toe against this trained fighter in hand to hand combat who wants you dead, and answer me this; Can you see yourself winning that fight? …Exactly, that is the level of ridiculousness we are at, this is the point I want to hammer home and if you are reading this Hollywood, (I doubt it because you are too busy destroying old franchises with identity politics) I am asking you politely to stop doing this! I’m not saying someone of lesser experience, lesser in weight and skill could not defeat someone harder and stronger, it is entirely possible, but make it more believable please, for the love of all that is holy make it more believable. It is just jarring, but because I’ve lost faith in GoT at this point I found it quite funny when I saw her standing there in her little armour, and then wondered that if they are going to include Lyanna, why not Tyrion? He can fight pretty well, he is effective with an axe. Why not Varys? He has a bit of weight behind him and can certainly kill a few Wights, fuck, if an overweight, half-blind cowardly Sam is allowed into battle, Varys can participate balls or not, or freaking Sansa, true she cannot fight per say but given the context of the story, having Jon as a bro and Arya as a sis, you could include her in the fight, she could have fired off a few arrows, she was standing on the wall after all, put a bow in her hand! The consistency is out the window, the logic is all over the place but even IF for some reason a child IS capable, make it believable at least so we can buy into it, having Lyanna killing a twenty-foot giant after it is seen wiping out units of hardened men without a care in the world, only to stall to pick up a child and die in this way, is shite. Goddammit, I’ve lost my train of thought now, where was I again?

Oh yeah, so the blizzard has finally clocked in to work, granted it was about ten minutes late but better late than never I suppose, they should have started with it, Jon should have told his allies about it, this wouldn’t be the first time he’s encountered it but remember, the pilchard is in charge of this show now, and we must do as the pilchard says. Daenerys cannot see due to the storm so her dragon acts as disabled as she is, why she couldn’t just continue burning up the White Walker army is beyond me, there are enough of them, just tell your dragon to keep doing what it has been doing for the entirety of this fight but what the hell do I know? The trench of twigs is not alight and they need this up and running to buy some time, so Davos attempts to signal down Daenerys from the sky to light it up for them after everyone’s attempt to set it ablaze fails. He doesn’t try to signal or get the word out to Jon and Rhaegar, who happen to be chilling nearby, seriously, watch it again, I saw Jon witness the trench go up in flames he could not have been far away, I’ll go as far to say he was within reach to do it himself..Holy God..It went up because the red woman needed some screen time though, she is back and takes a leisurely stroll toward the trench of sticks, it’s not an emergency or anything Melisandre, there isn’t a desperate battle taking place RIGHT before your eyes, HURRY THE FUCK UP!? Why are you taking so long to get there!? Fucking run woman! It does make me think though, at first she lights up an army of Dothraki swords with little effort, but when it comes to burning up wood which is very flammable next to steal, we have problems and don’t tell me she is put off by seeing a few men dying alright, this woman watched Stanis’s daughter burn, she gave birth to a fucking shadow demon, she sees crazy shit in the fires, she is apparently the reincarnation of Azor Ahai a fire God, so give me a fucking break will you GoT! Jesus, fuck I’m not even halfway through and I am bored to death with this battle already. The trench is now lit, it has stopped the dead temporarily but the more I think about it the more stupid it gets; Why did the living only make ONE of these trenches, you literally have thousands of men and time enough to dig them before the dead arrived, make dozens of the fuckers why don’t you? Make them wide as fuck for God’s sake, not just a few feet wide! I swear someone could hop across if they tried! If you had made them wider maybe you could have held them off for longer if not you could have won the battle this way, maybe you could have devised a strategy where you funneled the Wights toward your forces in such a way where their numbers would count for nothing, similar to what the 300 Greek Spartans do in the battle of Thermopylae, the only reason why they get away with winning for so long is because they compress the Persian warriors into one small space. This is actually a pretty sound tactic, and it would be VERY effective if done properly, if this came from the minds of the characters we knew in Seasons 1-6 then this strategy or perhaps something far better would at least be considered, but nope! In the show, the dumbass living build one measly trench and all it takes is a few Wights to walk into the fire to put it out in order to create a bridge of bodies for the bulk of the army to pass over successfully. I counted five Wights to plug up the trench…FIVE…Wow, I’m so impressed. How is this a thing? Wights are allergic to fire last time I checked, we’ve seen them go up in flames so many times I’ve honestly lost count but now, conveniently, they can put fires out with themselves..I’m confused..Or maybe I’ve lost my intelligence while watching this episode, I don’t know anymore. I know White Walkers scare fire away but it is not White Walkers that are keeling over into the pit of fire now is it!? Plus, where is the wave of Wights, what happened to that? If they all just rolled over this tiny trench they’d get to the walls much quicker and also provide a bridge for their siege engines..Oh wait they don’t have any, they didn’t think they might need siege towers, catapults or ladders to take the castles and fortresses of Westeros, but GoT must’ve seen World War Z and thought ‘Let’s do that!’ Fuck this episode, seriously who wrote this flimsy pile of garbage, better yet, who approved this? Who gave this the go-ahead? They should have just laughed, given the writers a sweety for finishing the first draft and sent them on their way back to the drawing board.

So what is Bran doing? Someone tell me what the hell Bran is doing throughout this whole episode!? Better yet, someone tell me who Bran is? He is not the same character as he once was, he is not the same boy we knew a few Seasons back and when he is pushed about it, he struggles to explain, or he looks away into the distance ominously as if he knows things we don’t, just like JD in Scrubs when he has a fantasy, seriously that is what it now reminds me of, Scrubs. He is the three-eyed raven, he is past, present and future is he? Okay, but what does that even mean? What can he do with that? Because he doesn’t ever seem to use these extraordinary gifts. I am guessing he is somewhat clairvoyant, I guess he can see the past present and future really well, he is from what I’ve seen a messiah or a prophet of some kind I think, fuck sake, we are nearing the end of the last season, Bran has been this way for at least two seasons and I am making up my own stories about him! This shouldn’t be happening! We should already know clearly what is actually going on with his character so we can enjoy the finale but instead, we are tripping over ourselves guessing! It would be like figuring out what the significance of the one ring is while Frodo is hiking up Mount Doom! We should already be clear on everyone’s motivations and abilities by now. If this is what happens in the books or in the last book that hasn’t been written yet, then I’m sorry then it sucks, this is not how I would do it, this is not how most would do it, this is frustrating. Just one simple sentence will do, one little scene is all I am asking for to clear this up; What or who is Bran!? One fucking day we’d like to know, there comes a point when you can’t keep teasing when you can’t keep withholding information! Anytime soon Brandon would be really nice along with an explanation as to what he is doing throughout this entire episode!? If it was explained during this episode then fine, if it was explained right at the end before the cut to black which I am begging for at this point, then it is still bad but forgivable, if it is explained in the next episode then it is darn right annoying and if it is not explained at all then fuck you GoT! Bran obviously possesses power, he obviously knows things, but it is irrelevant now isn’t it? It is irrelevant because death is literally knocking on your door! Way to put your knowledge to good use Bran you moron, unless you want everyone to die. Anyway, Bran knows that the Night King wants him because of…Ya know, reasons, so the idea is to bate him out of his undead army, separate him from his massive numbers and strike at him with everything you got when exposed, okay sounds great…Wait what?… This is SO retarded for a number of different reasons but I’ll get to that after I finish this thought. Early on in the fight Bran says to Theon (who should be on the fucking wall considering how awesome he and his men are with bows) that he ‘has to go now,‘ which made me chuckle because it reminds me of an early Simpsons episode, the one when Poochie gets involved with the cartoon Itchy and Scratchy. Homer Simpson voices the new character and the writers decide to write him out of the show, Homer goes off script the moment he finds out about this and delivers a heartfelt speech about the dog that nobody wanted, it touches some feels for the creators of Itchy and Scratchy and you’d think Homer would be allowed to continue voicing Poochie, but instead when the next episode airs, one of the developers cuts out Homer’s speech and replaces it with ‘I have to go now, my planet needs me’ then they kill Poochie off-screen, it is fucking hilarious and this. THIS ladies and gentlemen was what was going through my head when I saw this scene, a freaking Simpsons episode entered my mind while watching the final Season of Game of Thrones – The Long Night…I cannot facepalm hard enough without damaging myself…Bran wargs off into a murder of ravens and hi-fives the Night King floating hundreds of feet in the air above the battle on Viserion, it would appear that the Night King is giving all the Wights their orders, my theory is, White Walkers who raise dead men and women instantly own them and they act as if they are all linked. To back this theory up, in Season 7 Jon and a handful of his men engage a White Walker marching with a dozen or so Wights through a valley, the moment Jon kills the White Walker in charge they ALL die. The Night King instantly takes precedence over everything dead, that is his power, sure his commanders and captains can order Wights about but ultimately he is King of the dead. When I saw this scene play out a year or so ago I instantly suffered a mild stroke, thinking that if anyone was to somehow kill the Night King it would stand to reason that ALL of them would fall, this scared me, because for a moment I saw a very crap ending to such a great TV shows antagonist, but then I realised HBO is not run by a pilchard, that this is George R.R. Martins work, his great vision, a man labelled as the Tolkien of our time, he’d never allow such lazy writing to exist in Game of Thrones right? Surely not, right? The dead are now at the walls of Winterfell, they have no siege towers, no ladders, grappling hooks or beasts to get them onto the walls, besides a dragon that is kicking back in the clouds waiting for the script to cue him in and they have giants…No sorry, they have A giant, a single giant. I thought it would be cool to have a row of giants throwing dead over the walls, or manning huge catapults, the dead clamber in and the giants release them over the walls, I thought that would have been a wicked idea but instead, GoT copied World War Z again and the Wights use themselves as a ladder to climb up the walls. This isn’t all that bad, it certainly would work but it would have been nice to see this happening along with a few other clever methods. What the living do to repel this is to pick at the tower of bodies with arrows which does absolutely bugger all, they don’t even have a line of archers at the ready, you even hear Davos ordering men to the walls HOLY SHIT you should have been there already! What were you doing up until now!? But even if your arrows kill a Wight in the tower it will still serve as a body to grip and climb onto so you are literally wasting arrows doing this, you should be utilising Winterfell’s anti-siege weaponry…Winterfell does have anti-siege weaponry, right? It is the most powerful Stark castle in the North, it is massively important to the survival of the North of Westeros and then the world, oh it doesn’t have anti-siege weaponry SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Are you telling me that Winterfell does not have anything, no hot oil, no fire, no catapults (that are not stationed outside), no crossbow-turrets or anything besides a few bowmen on the wall..Jesus mother fucking monkey bollock cheese biscuit Christ!..Well then at least you should drop rocks or something heavy off the top of the walls onto the heads of the dead, to slow their ascent down, that is what any sane, thinking person would do immediately without the need of orders, a child can do that, it should just come naturally. You are doing that, aren’t you? You aren’t just waiting till the dead climb so high so you can strike at them with swords? You aren’t just waiting for them to spill out over onto the wall’s walkway, are you? You cannot be serious, you cannot be fucking serious! … You’re being serious. I cannot believe this is actually happening, I cannot believe I am witnessing such a catastrophe unfolding right before my now bleeding eyeballs. I MUST be dreaming all this. Before I go on maybe I should detail as to why bating the Night King out is so stupid, I’ll pick up exactly where I left off, just after the moment the undead are spreading across the walls and falling into Winterfell.

Bating the Night King to the Godswood is just silly, it’s silly because the Night King has been shown to be intelligent, he has demonstrated that he and his other White Walkers are not mindless drones like the hordes they command, they actually have an order, they have a purpose, have meaning, have history, lore and so on attached to them which is central to what this entire series has been about from the very first episode. We saw them leaving strange and disturbing spiral symbols made of body parts in the snow from the get-go, we have seen them gathering babies in earlier Seasons and watched them turn them into White Walkers which I had hoped to have answers for right about now. We saw them gathering their forces from a few too many, they have ties with the first men of Westeros, the ice wall in the North was built to keep them out (presumably), George R.R. Martin, the Tolkien of our time would NEVER let HBO forget about all of this rich storytelling and history go to waste, would he? He would never let these questions linger around forever, the mystery that has been gathering over the course of a series of epic books and seven Seasons of the TV adaptations go unanswered in one fell swoop, would he? Of course he wouldn’t, we’ll find out everything in this episode or in the later episodes of Season 8, only a pilchard would let this sort of thing go on with no explanation whatsoever…Jon has encountered the Night King before, he knows he is not a fool and will likely not be so dense to walk into a trap. The King and Bran (apparently) are key to all of this, they even appear to be linked, throughout the most recent Seasons we’ve seen them communicate, they seem to know where they are at all times, and let me remind you that if the Night King falls, so does the entire White Walker order, let me say that again in case you got distracted, if the Night King dies, the entire order dies with him. So why is he even participating in this battle at all when he is as vulnerable as the rest of them? Why does HE have to be the one to kill Bran!? Why is he not so far fucking North surrounded by an army of dead polar bears, polar bears that HBO was so desperate to shoehorn in, sacrificing Benjen Starks screentime in the process, but whatever, who cares about Benjen’s story anyway, Jon Sno’s uncle when you can include bears, zombie polar bears are ‘cool,’ shut up stop thinking and just watch the show…Fucking hell…Why is the Night King not also guarded by hordes of dead mammoths, dead giants, White Walker badasses and a legion of Wights all wrapped cozily up in a blizzard blanket that can freeze pesky warm-blooded humans in moments? As described in that old woman’s awesome tale passed down over generations. That’s where I’d be if were the dead King and the success of my campaign depended on me simply not dying (again). I’ll tell you what, that would have been a seriously cool thing to see, imagine if we had the battle of Winterfell as described similarly to the stories we’ve heard been given to Bran, imagine if while this battle is going on we get another one in the far far FAR North where the Night King is, similar to Sauron in LOTR and The Lich King in Warcraft. Imagine if he is residing inside a tower of ice guarded by ancient horrors never seen before by anyone, that is a creator’s wet dream right there, and men of Westeros led by heroes like Jon, have to vanquish him in an almost impossible fight, and say when Jon deals the death blow to the King, we unravel the mystery, the Night King talks maybe, he reveals something, a game-changer, potentially a sacrifice that has to be made? When the Night King is killed, this somehow affects the strength of the others in the South which leads to the living gaining their victory at the cost of great loss…That idea I came up with about five minutes ago while I was downing a whiskey I mean tea, it’s not the best but I JUST came up with it while I was writing this article, it would have served a hell of a lot better to what we got in this shit storm of an episode. The Night King should not be duped this easily, the Night King should have the know-how to see through an obvious trap, the Night King should not have to be the one to deal the kill shot to Bran, and if he does, tell us why? Why does it even matter given how this episode turns out which I’ll be sure to cover after I finish describing this shitty battle.

Right, back to the shitty battle, the first wave of Wights have taken Winterfell, they took it almost without any resistance, the Night King should be pissing himself laughing at the level of sheer incompetence of the living, they are so ill-equipped to fend off an army with no siege weapons, they lack any sort of defense that the first wave broke them, and now the army of the dead are spilling into your city and you have lost! It’s over! The moment this happens in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, the moment the Uruk-Hai gain a foothold on the keep of Helms Deep the retreat is instantly sounded and King Theoden pulls everyone back, and rightly so because now your men are flanked, they’ll be swamped at all sides and eventually everyone will die, so you run, but in Winterfell there is no plan at this point, nowhere to fall back to..Good.Fucking.Job.You.Absolute.Cretins..The dead are swarming through the city now, this should be the part of the episode where our heroes realise the dire seriousness of their situation and we do get that level of emotion to a degree, but it is instantly ruined time and time over because whenever someone seems to be in trouble, or when they start to get cuddled to death by Wights SOMEONE comes along to save the day, they kill one and everything is just fine or the editor steps in and takes you away from the moment so everything is okay just so it can happen again, this is used around the characters of Jamie, Brienne, Sam (who spends most of the episode crying), Grey Worm, Gendry, and Tormund. I cannot stress this enough, this happens constantly that all levels of danger, every drop of tension is alleviated if there was any here to begin with, it is insulting to the Wights, no one of real importance in this episode FUCKING dies (apart from our favourite man in the friend zone Jorah) and this is the biggest battle thus far in the series, this dark mess of a hugging competition is what we are treated with, what a complete waste of such a monumental opportunity, and it doesn’t get better, in fact, it gets worse right up until the end. After seeing the dead army falling into the city we then cut to The Walking Dead, Arya has taken lessons from Rick Grimes or Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell, it is hard to tell at this point, and has encountered a handful of slow-moving zombies in a library..Yes, we went from a desperate siege reaching its critical climax to a stealth scene in a matter of seconds!..Also, why is Arya fucking scared of them all of a sudden? We JUST saw her literally flipping about killing Wight after Wight after Wight and now you are suddenly afraid of a few in a library brushing passed books, what the hell!? If you spent as half as much time in killing them instead of hiding from a bunch of brain dead idiots you could have rinsed through them in a matter of seconds and moved on to save more characters right before their death-blow; Why am I even seeing this right now? You are Arya Stark, you are THE assassin of this series and you are hiding under a table! Why are you even hiding? Where is this going!? To what end does using your stealth get you? She is not going anywhere, she isn’t searching for something crucial to the battle, she has suffered a head wound sure, so maybe this is why she is stuck in Walking Dead stealth mode, or the writers just wanted a sneaky scene because of reasons. Get fucked GoT! We were watching a huge battle taking place moments ago and then, this happens. The tone is off, this whole scene including that of the Hound and Beric who decide to join in and play Splinter Cell should have been removed entirely and replaced with something that fit the spectacle, but there is nothing we can do about it now so what happens exactly? Let’s see, Arya is discovered because the game was set on hard mode, and eventually she is caught, game over. Wights pile onto her but it’s okay because Beric hits one skeleton off her with a thrown flaming sword and she is A-okay. This scene sprung my second laugh when it really shouldn’t have, this far in to the episode I should be gripping my seat as tightly as I was when watching The Mountian versus The Red Viper of Dawn, a fight that takes place between two men but hey, George was still interested in his own series back then. I found it quite funny when I realised that wearing armour does nothing in this show anymore when it surely used to, Jorah even has a scene explaining why plate armour is fucking sick and wins a fight because of it, but the writers forgot to re-watch Season 1. We see a number of secondary characters who wear hard armour die because it may as well be made out of cardboard, Beric is one such character, he gets stabbed a multitude of times (about seven times) before finally giving up and dying in a what looks like a barricaded room with Melisandre, a woman who could have easily revived him but decides not to, because of pilchard reasons. She reminds Arya of a line she said to her in a prior Season about shutting many brown, green and blue eyes, emphasis on the word blue, we are also reminded about what to say to the God of death. I always thought Melisandre was talking about human eyes, eyes belonging to those on her Kill Bill rip off death list. I always thought Syrio Forel spoke about death as a sort of metaphor but apparently, I was totally wrong and this was actually referring to White Walker eyes, White Walkers who were a fucking fairytale up until a few weeks ago in the shows time. Who the fuck would have known! Then the dead start banging on the wooden door they just barricaded, banging on the WOODEN door, remember that, a WOODEN door and she runs off to do something, she just runs off leaving the Hound and Melisandre alone to fend off the Wights that were chasing her. I was under the impression they were locked in? I was under the impression that they would stand together in this moment, but off-screen, there is a way out! Why weren’t they already heading for this exit immediately instead of standing their like marshmallows looking at it? A swarm of dead men is behind that door, get the fuck away from it if you can, but if you can’t, do your best to hold the fort and fight them, but Arya runs off to do something somewhere without saying a word, that’s great. I’m so glad I watched this episode.

Now we are in the Godswood again with Brandon and Theon who is commanding some admittedly very skilled archers who should have been on the wall from the start, and the moment it is taken they should be ordered to fall back to the wood immediately! That is what I’d do, it seems logical. The Godswood should have been the final stand for everyone, I am aware it is all about teasing the Night King but you need a fallback procedure till the very end, in this episode the wall is taken and boom, it’s over, no more movements happen, we just see our cast being constantly tickled to death. You need to give your men a strategy to the bitter end, hope is essential to winning and in some cases delaying your opponents taking as many of them with you as possible, even if it is a dire situation this is the mindset you must employ, even if it is completely pointless you still need one. Anyway, let’s talk about this scene; The moment the defense starts and the Ironborn arrows start firing, the editor is already on the cut button, or as I renamed it the c**t button, we see the Ironborn archers engage with a running swarm of undead soldiers, they are quite literally feet away from them if you watch carefully before the c**t I mean cut, so this means they will be perfectly fine next we see them, and we do, we even see Theon and a few of his men have time to look up at a dragon passing over them..Hold on..Aren’t you supposed to be desperately fighting to defend Bran? Speaking of which, I know I alluded to this earlier but I’ll do it again because I’m still confused about it; What is he doing? He is warging I know, but warging into what? Is he still a murder of ravens? Is he taking control of Ghost who we saw ONCE and never see again? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to keep Ghost close by, this would be a nice little call back to one of the very first episodes, to have a dire wolf right at Bran’s side. This is where I would have put Ghost, on autopilot he is fucking awesome, did you see him during the Battle for Castle Black? AND Bran can also warg into him as a last resort. Maybe the Night King should kill Bran but he has warged into Ghost, then Ghost rips the Night Kings head off when he is bewildered that his ‘plan’ didn’t work, but all of this still begs the question, Ghost is useless unless you tip his teeth in valerian steal. Because this is the episode centered around Brans or the Night Kings death, having Ghost perhaps defend Bran till his last breath regardless of whether he can kill White Walkers or not, dying along with Theon would have hit millions of people in the heart emotionally, it would have been a great and sad ending to our favourite dire wolf, plus if the Night King was the one to do it then it would make us hate him EVEN more. He can kill plenty of humans and most people watching wouldn’t give much of a shit, unless they were mains like Jon and Daenerys, but the moment he kills a dire wolf, a representation of the Stark sigil, it would have been terribly upsetting but memorable as hell..Fuck me..I came up with that in like ten seconds I swear to Christ! So much could have been done in this episode and it pains me to think about what we had served to us, worse off I know that in years to come I’ll probably want to re-watch this series from Seasons 1 to 8 but will dread getting to S8-Ep3, it may even put me off entirely, this episode may be the thing that killed GoT, we will have to see when it is all over in a few weeks time to assess the damage.

We cut to a scene with Jon and Daenerys fighting the Night King in the sky, we are treated with some pretty awesome shots, it is always cool to see dragons going at it, it is still dark as fuck and I had no idea who was who or which dragon was which but generally it is very well done, the sounds, the music, the effects, the weight of it all, epic. There are also a few moments beforehand where Jon and Daenerys break through the clouds and we can see the moon and stars, this was absolutely gorgeous, finally, something positive I can pull from this casserole of nonsense, maybe it was because I could actually see something properly for the first time in thirty-something minutes, my eyes had gotten so used to squinting it was refreshing to let them relax. Fast forward a bit and the Night King swoops in an blows a gaping hole in the wall of Winterfell…You.Are.Fucked…If the Wights tower of bodies didn’t end it then this most certainly will! I actually liked this scene, it looks incredible, the big explosion was handled perfectly but it instantly left me scratching my head thinking..Why did you not start with this!?.. And before you say the obvious, the Night King is encountered immediately afterward either by Drogon or Rhaegar, so he clearly wasn’t worried about the two dragons assaulting him. To elaborate on this, why would the Night King care about Viserion, Danny loves these beasts, it’s understandable, these are her family,  her children, the Night King adopted one, he has now used it to the best of its ability,  it breached the ice wall and broke Winterfell, why are you at all concerned about its safety? You can now just land and raise the dead to hurry along with your pending victory. Seeing as I’ve gone off on a tangent here, I do wonder; Why did he not continue flying and take Bran out with blue fire? Bran was chilling at the Godswood, it has already been established that they know where they are, that the Night King is after him because of fishy reasons, so why can’t he just light it all up on his first flyby, Danny and Jon were staring at the moon earlier so GO THEN! Or drop down and do it with your sword if you really have to do it that way you dumb shit!..UGHHH! This episode makes no Goddamn sense…Anyway, I’ve only watched this episode once, I am unsure of the order in which this happens, I may have got it wrong but I am not watching it again, I just want to get this article done so I can do something else with my evening, but between all of the cutaways, the protagonists were looking for him, he shows up from below breathing blue fire, they fight for a bit, he then blows a hole in the wall of the castle and the Night King is pushed off Viserion by Drogon (I think), falling through the blizzard along with Jon and Rhaegar. Rhaegar crashes in a totally awesome way, the CGI is movie quality, it is astounding and we are left with our hero and villain alone on the plane of snow, away from the siege. Maybe this is where they’ll clash? Maybe this is where we see Jon stand up to the Night King, either he will get his ass handed to him before dying, maybe we can see another Night King ability, maybe the other White Walkers show up and surround him in the snowstorm,  maybe this is where Jon dies, right before Danny and she’ll step in, in some way, would be cool to see Daenerys stand toe to toe with him, not on a dragon but toe to toe, she can’t use a sword but it is at least something of a scene to think about, or Jon will be able to outmaneuver the King, land some satisfying blows perhaps that do not result in him shattering to ice, he is a bit unique in this way seeing as he is able to withstand dragon fire, we’ll get into that in a moment. Who knows, get creative, this is a writers dream come true, you can do anything within the context of the story, you have the chance to bring so much to life here. Maybe Rhaegar will get in the way of the Night King versus Jon fight, perhaps we’ll hear him speak for the first time and learn something that totally flips the script! The possibilities are endless but nah, fuck all these wonderful ideas, fuck all of it, fuck Rhaegar, fuck the potential for some alone time with Jon and the King, let’s just have them fall and do something completely different.

At this point in the battle, it is so over and done with you may as well cut to black now. This is where the living should abandon Winterfell and just flee further South to meet Cersei, before cutting to black we could see the living running for dear life, leaving those left behind in the crypts to die, maybe Tyrion and Sansa seal themselves in and hope the army of the dead outside do not discover them. This would have been a nightmarish end to this episode, an immensely more powerful ending to the one we had, because as you know Sansa Stark, Tyrion, Gillie, Varys and all the women and children are all hiding underground while the battle takes place..I can’t believe I am doing a better job than the current writers after having thought about this for no more than twenty minutes…Another idea, during the livings retreat they could find themselves sandwiched between Cersei’s Golden Army, not only does this redeems her character but it would be totally unexpected, having her army finally arrive would create a situation where Cersei would be in the position to join up with Jon and the others, engage the White Walkers or kill those fleeing Winterfell, you could leave the episode on a cliffhanger that would rival Negan’s introduction in The Walking Dead, will she betray or will she join. Like I said, it’s a writer’s wet dream, so much can be done here I really want to go on, but enough of my ideas otherwise I’d be here for days so let’s get back to the story. Wights in the thousands are running through the broken wall, I have no idea who is where! All I am seeing is a handful of our protagonists fighting a few skeletons after seeing literal thousands breaching the city. Amidst this fighting, it cuts to Jorah looking up…How did he not die with the Dothraki suicide run by the way?… But we see him looking up, he hears a dragon cry and he runs off, just like Arya he takes off out of frame; Why, because of reasons again, I guess, but this is both relevant and ridiculous. Cut back to Daenerys and she finds the Night King, she orders Drogon to breathe fire over him but it doesn’t work, it does shit. So valerian steal can kill him, dragon glass can kill him which has been forged with dragon fire but a breath of pure dragon fire does not even budge him, is that because he is a Targaryen of have I got my wires crossed? And then he smiles showing a human emotion, emotions he should have transcended, he should be as cold as the Terminator, as ruthless as Xerxes and as dangerous as a Xenomorph but whatever, to hell with all that, he reminds me of Ramsey, he smiles because he has transformed into a generic villain, a guy who simply wants to destroy the world and be evil because the story requires someone to be evil. I really do hate this episode! The Night King then throws a spear at Drogon but somehow manages to miss! That’s right he misses, even though he was able to land a killing blow on Viserion who was much further away and was also moving at high speed. True the Night King decided NOT to aim for Drogon the biggest of the three, who happened to be looking away and was stationary with pretty much EVERYONE sitting on his back, he could have ended it all here but this is Season 7 so he decided to kill Viserion. Back to Season 8 and the retardedness continues; Why did Drogon not eat the Night King after fire breath did not work? If he did not want to eat him then why did he not do the next best thing and crush him with his tail, or break him into pieces with his gigantic claws, the Night King didn’t even have his sword drawn this would have worked 100%, but instead Danny and Drogon fly off, that’s right she flies off, why? Because of reasons. Okay, I am actually sick of saying that so I promise not to say it again. Jon is in pursuit of the Night King but before he can reach him, the King spots him and raises the dead all around him. I actually really liked this scene, it was one of few bits that made feel something because I really like Jon, and in this moment he is completely surrounded from all sides, no one unless your name is Keanu Reeves is making it out of there alive, you are fucked, and I thought that this may have been the end for Jon, for a second or two I thought this was how he was going to exit the show. We cut to everyone else in Winterfell who bears witness the dead become one with the army of the dead, again like with the blizzard that Jon knew about and failed to tell anyone about he also forgot to mention that the Night King can do this. There should have been more in previous episodes about this, there should have been something to bring us back to that moment of Hardhomes retreat, where Jon saw the Night King do this and they shared a staredown moment. I remember when the credits rolled in that episode, there was no music, it was JUST the credits and a chilling wind in the air, a haunting silence, a horrid glimpse of what could happen to the whole of Westeros if this King is victorious, and this show made me believe that the dead King could win, after seeing the final move I sat back thinking ‘How in the hell do you defeat this?’ It was seriously powerful stuff, I love it, I love it, I love it, Jons’ face said it all…sigh…Right, now we are looking at a situation where Sam, Brienne, Jamie, Grey Worm, Pod, Gendry and the rest are now amidst the dead army, they may as well start marching further South alongside them they are that screwed, for the tenth time everyone should be wiped out instantly, including Jon. The only one who would live should be Daenerys, she should now fly Drogon away because the living have lost, fly back over the Narrow Sea, hook back up with Dario and prepare for an imminent undead invasion, seriously, she should assemble every man woman and strong lad and commit to the biggest campaign EVER! I am obviously just screwing around but the writers have really gotten themselves into a hole here, the only way out of it is to defy the rules and allow everyone to live using the c**t button, this is what happens and everyone just carries on fighting, that’s literally what happens, things just carry on…Unbelievable…The silliness just keeps going on and on because the dead that are buried in the crypt, rise along with the others on the Night King’s orders, this is also where the women, children, and Tyrion are hiding, IN THE CRYPT! Good fucking God who approved this wank! Speaking of which, if Lyanna, a little girl was allowed to fight, why can’t Tyrion? It may have been suggested earlier that they will need him once this war is over because of his mind, but we’ve seen him with an axe, he fought Mountain men, he has seen combat at Black Water Bay, he is heavier than Lyanna and is easily stronger than her so why does she get to take on giants and win when Tyrion does absolutely nothing in the biggest battle in Westeros! He is not only a key character, but he is also arguably the favourite in the show, make him do SOMETHING, anything instead of Sansa teasing their suicides behind a tomb, and then they don’t do anything with that tease, Tyrion just runs around a corner. Oh, and while we’re at it, remember the dead had difficulty getting through a WOODEN door barricaded with a WOODEN bench by the Hound, well here they can punch through stone tombs like they are made of playdough! I am not going to even elaborate on this one, it speaks for itself and I’ve still got a chunk of review and more to get through, so moving on.

The c**t button takes us back to Brandon and the Ironborn, who should have been overrun by now judging on how many dead were charging at them, closing the gap to a few feet, Bran is still warging, he is still doing nothing, if I was writing this he’d be taking possession of Ghost or better yet, why not Rhaegar? Jon is an amazing swordsman, he should be putting his skills to good use on the ground, this would, in turn, lend morale to his men and he would cut through hundreds of Wights, but I didn’t write this, the pilchard did and we have to do what the pilchard orders, and the pilchard takes us back to Jon who is not surrounded anymore but instead positioned conveniently in front of a slow herd of waddling zombies, they aren’t even attacking him, they are just shuffling forward what is even happening in this show!? Danny’s qued in because the script says so and she saves him, burning up every Wight clearing him a path to the Night King and then pops one of the stupid pills. She does not pick Jon up and take him to the Godswood, she does not fly ahead to cover him further or even burn up the dead who forgot to be working in this shot, no really, go back and watch it, if you look closely a herd of Wights are just standing there watching Jon run through the gaping hole in Winterfell. Whatever they are mesmerized by it catches Daenerys’s attention and this allows a small army of Wights to wash over her dragon, Drogon. Well.Fucking.Done.You.Absolute.Moron! (Actually clapped along when I re-read that) Drogon missed his stupid prescription and flies off, shaking the dead off him as best he can and in turn Danny comes off too. Daenerys is now stranded in a field among hundreds of dead who spot her and charge her. I know it must get pretty cold flying around in the sky, this explains her coat, but why aren’t you wearing any armour or at least a helmet, if you have to choose one piece of armour, you choose headgear over everything else (this goes for Jon and ALL the cast actually) all it takes is one arrow and you are screwed, but this is GoT stupid edition where consistency and logic are on vacation, armour doesn’t do anything here anyway, maybe Daenerys knows this, maybe she knows also of the c**t button and is aware of plot armour so decides to just fly around looking stunning at all times, note her hair and make-up remain perfect throughout, she is ravishing at the start and just as delicious at the end, but rewind to Jon at the beginning of Battle of the Bastards and compare him to the end, note the differences, it’s awesome, there is so much mud and blood on him you can hear it squelching under his feet. Emilia Clarke is stunning by the way, let me just say that, Emilia, if you are reading this, I have no problem with your acting, you are superb especially toward the end, none of this mess is your fault, in fact, your presence makes it a little better, you come across in real life as a truly likable and wonderful human being, I’ve enjoyed watching your character play out and I look forward to what you do afterward in later roles. You are an absolute gem, a brave woman considering what you have gone through, I’ve read your story and was touched by it..MARRY ME! My contact details are listed below if you want to get in touch haha or if want to purchase my book which is also an epic fantasy, which I hope will be made into film or TV show one day, before we marry can I buy you a drink?..Phew..Been meaning to write a love letter to Emilia Clarke for a while now, I hope she isn’t still involved with Karl Drogo, anyway, with that aside, let’s continue. Before a zombie kills Danny someone chops its head off, it is Jorah and he is somehow behind her..How is this even possible?..She was facing the castle and he was behind her! He must’ve heard her dragon’s cries as mentioned earlier while in the middle of a skirmish only to abandon it to run miles outside passed the army of the dead and conveniently place himself on the field to save her, knowing that she would somehow come off her dragon…I can’t keep writing like an infant, I can’t do it, let’s just say that this moment is stupid, let’s add it to the pile of stupid which is sixty foot high at this point. Jon is running through Winterfell and we see something interesting, not being sarcastic here, this is genuinely quite good and the visuals are pretty intense. He is running passed those who have survived, they are fighting on and the dead are just tumbling into the city like rain, even though the c**t button is being mashed and we are being teased over and over again with their impending deaths, Jon does something which Jon would do, he lets them go, he doesn’t try to save them, not even Sam who is being swarmed. Jon knows that all that matters right now is killing the Night King, he knows that the lives of his friends do not outweigh the survival of the human race, he must reach the Night King otherwise everything is lost and this means in a cruel twist of fate, that he must let those he loves to die. This scene is quite powerful, I like it, I’ve always liked Jon and I like Kit Harrington who plays him, also the music here is rather beautiful, it’s slow and emotional, of course, it would have been made heavier if more characters had died and the making had been better, so the fact that I felt even something during this run means it is impressive, I would watch this episode again FOR this moment and this moment alone. The great scene does not last long though, we catch a shot of what Danny and Jorah are up to, Danny is about to be charged into by five Wights but before we see what happens we cut away, again, this happens over and over and I can’t deal with it anymore! Jon is being chased by a swarm of dead and shuts a gate to cease their pursuit, sealing himself in a courtyard with Viserion, who is breathing blue fire all over the place. I know what the developers are trying to do, they are reaching the climax of the battle, they are showing us the gradual end of all our characters, building to the final act but the tension is not there, we have been teased so many times I no longer believe they are in any danger, the Wights are crap at killing, they kill Jorah defending Daenerys because his armour is made of paper, it actually looks like Daenerys pushed Jorah into the blade, I know she would never do that but it still looks like she did causing an eyebrow of mine to rise. Jon attempts to attack Viserion but it’s a dragon didn’t you know, and he has to flee. He tries to attack it again, he gets a bit closer this time but remembers it is a dragon, a creature you cannot just run-up to and hit the attack button on it, so he hides behind a rock to shield himself from being cooked. Yes, the blue fire that melted the ice wall in the North, the same blue fire that punched a hole in Winterfell fails to burn up a mound of rock with a human crouching behind it……I can only suspend my disbelief for so long GoT, I know you have done well in the past, I know you are capable of consistent, creative and clever writing, you can and have done it so many times, but this is poor, this isn’t well done, this is bad, this is really bad……It gets worse seconds later when Jon starts shouting at it, I fucking wish I was joking, I kid you not, Jon Sno shouts at an undead dragon..What am I watching right now?..My fucking GOD! This is actually hilarious. We cut to everyone else AGAIN getting squeezed by the Wights, Brienne is screaming while Wights are at all sides WHAT ARE THEY DOING? If they were stabbing her she’d be dead, but because she and the others can’t die, what is she screaming about? Sam is seen crying when a minute ago he had a dagger up next to his face, why isn’t any Wight going for him? There are hordes of the fuckers around you and you’re sitting there just crying! Fuck this I need to go to bed, I cannot take this, I’ll pick this up in the morning, there is only so much ass writing I can take. Good fucking night! zzz zzz zzz

Sorry for storming off, I had written about ten thousand words in an evening, maybe I had reached my limit or perhaps I was just fed up of complete bullshit, whatever, it is time to finish this rant because I am nearing the end, I doubt I’ll write an article this big again because it has drained me and ruined my sleep. So Daenerys is using Jorah as a human shield, Brienne, Pod, Gendry, Jamie, Tormund, Davos, Grey Worm and the rest are being cuddled to death, Tyrion and Sansa are stealthing with Varys in the crypt, Jon is giving the dragon a good talking to and Theon is the last Ironborn alive guarding Brandon, they are surrounded by hundreds of Wights, all of the White Walkers and the Night King. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to run, no dragon support and the editor is taking a rest on the c**t button because he needs to go to the bathroom. Bran comes back to us FINALLY and tells Theon he is a good man, thus his ark is completed, his redemption fulfilled, he is back, proving that you do not need a penis to be brave. Theon charges the King with a spear, why Theon was not using a sword, a weapon he is skilled with beats me but a lot of things beat me in this episode,  like the consistency, continuity, logic, battle tactics, plot and the TV’s brightness, it all flies in my face. Theons charge is stopped, his spear broken and is pushed through him, a wooden spear breaks through his plate armour! I’ve always liked Ironborn armour, if I had the choice I’d always choose it over any other style in GoT, but now I realise it is this useless, I may as well battle bollock naked. Theon dies and then the Night King approaches, this is it, this is the moment we have been waiting for. What is their connection? Why do they have this tie? Are we going to hear the Night King speak? Is Bran going to reveal something important? Are we about to learn something massive? Almost a decade in the making, GoT, created and written by George R.R. Martin, adapted into a TV show that has captivated millions upon millions of people, a show that was designed to go against the tropes, to put a big middle finger up to Hollywood and traditional storytelling, we are finally here. The King and Bran meet face to face, and slowly the Night King is about to draw his ancient blade, it will be great to see him with his sword drawn because we have never actually see the Night King armed before. I gotta say, even though I’ve hated almost every moment of this episode, even though it makes no sense and is darn right laughable in places, I was invested in this moment, maybe just maybe they could redeem it and turn it all around, maybe the ending of this episode will go down as the biggest OH SHIT moment we’ve ever experienced…No, Arya jumps out, gets grabbed then stabs him with a trick shot. The Night King dies, shattering into broken ice and the army of the dead dies with him. Roll credits…cough

Fuck! That actually happened! That was a real episode! Fuck!

Where do I even begin to break this down!? Forgive me if the next few paragraphs seem forced and rushed, it is because they are. If my brain is a freeway all the bullshit is driving in one direction, on one road and there is a huge jam, a pile-up and everyone is frantic to get out onto the functioning road again, that’s my brain right now! Where was Jon? This was Jon’s story arc, not Arya’s, and before I start on Arya, for the record, I like Arya Stark, I like her when she is not pulling that stupid squashed smiling smug, talking and looking down on everyone just because she has received intense training, this makes me dislike her a lot in these moments. Jon has received training, he would own Arya, there is also a scene in one of the earlier Season when Arya steps in his way, not allowing him to leave, I think it was at the end of Season 7 but I was like “Umm Arya, get out of his way, show him some respect, if he wanted he would push you aside” he could do this with more or less with anyone while a sword is in his hand, he has proved this over and over but you never see Jon talking or acting so smug and self-important in this way. As much as I don’t like Brienne, part of me wishes that she beat Arya in that little one and one they had, just to remind Arya of some humility. If not for these moments she would be my favourite character close to Jon and Davos but for the most part, I do like her and I like Massie Williams, but this killing of the Night King scene, is off, this would be like Jon killing Cercei at the end instead of Arya, or Daenerys defeating Ramsey, Arya did not even know about the White Walkers until a few episodes ago and now she steals Jon’s moment, a moment it has been building to from Season 1. This entire ending is daft and completely out of place, not saying Arya cannot have a hand in the Night Kings defeat, but to do it all by herself, having her appear out of thin fucking air to go in for a backstab, only to copy Rey’s move from The Last SHITTY Jedi is a shot to the gut to any fan of this dying if not dead series. The fact that this scene even reminds me of Rian Johnson’s monumental Star Wars fuckup, is a bad sign, it stinks of The Last Jedi’s failure. More questions arise, questions that I shouldn’t have to ask or answer; How did she sneak by hundreds of Wights and dozens of White Walkers? I know she is an assassin but there is no way she is this sneaky, Wights can hear blood tap on the floor for God’s sake, we saw this in the library leading to her discovery moment ago so she cannot be THAT fucking stealthy can she! And she did not leap down from the tree like one idiot I know suggested, she didn’t swing she literally leaped forward from the darkness, darkness that should not have been there, instead we should have been seeing the White Walkers standing there. Jon did nothing, he was not even involved, he wasn’t even present, he was busy shouting at a dragon fucking shouting at a dragon!…I cannot believe this has happened, it is a 1.5 out of 10 ending, and this is being so very generous because I do like Arya, regardless of the odd cringe scene here and there, she is great. What the fuck happened! Why does this ending even exist, it is so bad when you look at it through a writer’s eyes, the eyes of a creative, whether or not it is logistically possible NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE GOOD GOD!!! But lets pause for a moment lets stop to think what has just happened, for a moment lets slow down and just understand something because there is something else that needs to be covered, something very important. David Benioff, D.B Weiss, what have you done? WHAT!..HAVE!..YOU! DONE!? Is this for real!? I am not joking when I say this but do you even know what Game of Thrones is about? Am I seriously about to tell the writers of Game of fucking Thrones, that this series was never about the iron throne in the first place!?

GAME OF THRONES IS NOT ABOUT WHO SITS ON A BLOODY CHAIR! Repeat after me, ‘Game of Thrones IS NOT about a chair!!!’ Game of Thrones is about life and death. The WHOLE point of the series of books AND that of the show is not the fucking throne of power, but it is about conveying to the audience that no matter where you are from, what your politics are, what race you belong to, who your allies and enemies are that all of this is TOTALLY IRRELEVANT! Your side was chosen for you, no matter how much you hate your enemies, what you’ve been through and who you’ve lost, we all share that ONE thing in common and that is LIFE itself, and when it is threatened we must put aside all our bullshit, all our petty squabbles, hatreds even our banners and march under the one that unites us all, the one in which we ALL share common ground under…Life! Game of Thrones was destroyed beyond repair in this one scene. If you look at it a little deeper, the dead army did not get passed Winterfell, this was the first human city they encountered in Westeros and they lost! What an absolute joke of a campaign, I bet Cersei is pissing herself laughing in Kings Landing with a glass of wine, Essos, as far as I know, are not even aware of the Night Kings existence. The more you think about it the worse it gets, Joffrey was a better villain, Ramsey did more damage fucking Walder Frey hurt the Starks more than the King of the dead!!! Fuck this!

I can forgive poor battle tactics, I can overlook shitty editing, plot conveniences, rubbish consistency and things that make no sense, I shouldn’t have to but I can do it, I’ve done it to a degree with Prometheus and Alien: Covenant but I am working in it. I sat through a number of poor episodes throughout the series, I didn’t like the way Blackfish went out, I thought Season 7’s teleportation was trash, the religious Zealots bored me to death and I didn’t particularly like Bran’s story as a whole, but I waded through it because I knew there was something else at stake, I knew that it was building to something greater, it was all coming to this battle, a battle that Jon and Daenerys would lead the charge against the Night King and his legion of dead, this was meant to be the biggest battle put to screen since Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, this was the longest-running episode ever, it was the most expensive to my knowledge that took months to shoot, I remember reading up on it and getting so pumped for it. So much was riding on this battle, eight or so years worth of build only to shatter because of Arya Stark…It must’ve taken more effort to write something this bad than good…The moment the Night King shattered into pieces, was the moment I fell out of love for Game of Thrones. Now, from what I’ve heard, it is back to squabbling about who gets that fucking chair, that idea of uniting against a threat more powerful than all the Joffrey’s, all the Ramsey’s and all the Tywin’s combined is gone, without anything more than the hazy notion of wanting the world frozen in a cold night, the deeper meaning behind Game of Thrones has regressed and Cercei is the ultimate villain, Cercei! When it should have been the King of the dead, a foe who we’ve been waiting for since Season 1 episode 1 released back in 2011. I’m done.

I’ve heard several arguments in defense of The Long Night, I’ll list them and answer them briefly here and leave you with what Massie Williams who plays Arya Stark and what she has to say about this ending, through a snippet of an interview she did with Entertainment Weekly.

They did not put archers or men on the walls because of Viserion.

You have Rhaegar and Drogon as a deterrent, yes you risk your men on the walls but you need to kill the Night King who is likely riding Viserion, if he’s not, you still waste a dragon.

The living put their army outside because there was no space inside Winterfell.

The Dothraki stay outside but away from the city, they are ordered in to lap the field outside thinning the deads numbers and assisting with breaking dead body towers for your Unsullied and other fighters, to defend the tops of the walls and within the grounds. If there is no room for the armies, specify it, make it clear to the viewers that there is no room but stock up the city as best you can. You can position forces outside, I am not totally against the idea of armies being outside but use them properly and treat them with respect, to which I saw none of in this episode.

Why stay in the castle when they can surround you? 

Put as many men inside as possible, spread out your siege engines and await attack, use your Dothraki to circle the city, use them to lap the fields outside to break the tower of bodies. While the horses rest, use your dragons to light the place up. Yes, this is a hard fight to win with all things considered but eventually, the Night King would lose his numbers and have to reveal himself to restore the dead and bolster his numbers, the moment he moves in to do this, the moment Davos signals Jon and Danny to fuck his shit up. 

They moved their siege engines forward to reduce numbers quickly.

You can fire the trebuchets continuously if they were in the backline, they may not be the first thing you used but you could have had them firing continuously once the dead had engaged and thin out their charge, you may even be able to break the stupid wave up before they hit. That’s better than firing them twice and leaving them for destruction or worse capture.

The only way to defeat the army of the dead is to kill the Night King, so the Dothraki charge in the hopes he will reveal himself, Jon and Danny are the cavalry. 

You did not have to sacrifice them all if you wanted to lure out the Night King, you could have halved them, even quartered them and used the rest of the Dothraki as support. As for Jon and Danny waiting in the wings with their dragons, they knew where the army was coming from, they knew White Walkers and likely the Night King were in the back lines, they could have easily flanked them instead of approaching head-on.

Entertainment Weekly:- The twist is a monumental success for her character, and entirely unexpected. It was so unexpected, however, Williams initially worried fans wouldn’t like it.

“It was so unbelievably exciting,” she says. “But I immediately thought that everybody would hate it; that Arya doesn’t deserve it. The hardest thing is in any series is when you build up a villain that’s so impossible to defeat and then you defeat them. It has to be intelligently done because otherwise people are like, ‘Well, [the villain] couldn’t have been that bad when some 100-pound girl comes in and stabs him.’ You gotta make it cool. And then I told my boyfriend and he was like, ‘Mmm, should be Jon though really, shouldn’t it?’”

I will likely not cover any more GoT episodes, I may touch on them here and there henceforth because I am still in both awe and utter shock as to how bad they are, but I have a lot on with my own work right now I cannot keep doing this, I have a documentary in the works, a live-action trailer on the way out and I need to keep writing the sequel to The Utopian Dream which needs ALL of my time, but before I sign off, one thing, one positive I CAN pull from this entire mess, is that writers or creative people in high positions can look at this episode and learn from it, just like with Batman and Robin, we got Batman Begins after it and no one can make the argument that The Dark Knight Trilogy is poorly done. This episode is how NOT to write a battle sequence, this episode is how NOT to write or treat your script, this is how our pre-established characters do NOT behave. So, with all that said, goodnight, good morning, good afternoon, thank you for reading through mu biggest post yet. I’ll catch you later.

E-Mail – taotome@outlook.com

Twitter – @MegasTeque

Amazon Page UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/l/B01JMZ2BE6

Amazon Page US – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B01JMZ2BE6

D.W.Gill